Malicia MaCawber: The Demon Queen of St. Canard

New Years

2008-12-31T22:01:38Z

Well well, it seems yet another year has come to an end. Here are my brilliant resolutions for 2009!

- Ruin Morgana's life.
- Corrupt Gizmoduck.
- Lead the Mistresses of Mayhem into victory over the city.
- Aim for a higher revenue with my wares.
- Try sushi.

I'm breaking out my finest spirits tonight and settling in for a night of celebration. Pringles and I are going to play our traditional game of Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit and then watch them drop that giant glass ball in the center of St. Canard Square. I'm not sure what the point of all that is, it must be a Normal tradition I've yet to understand. I wonder if it explodes? Does candy fly out of it? Or better yet, alcoholic candy?

Happy New Years, frenemies.

malicia_m @ 2008-12-18T16:01:00

2008-12-18T21:00:58Z

Sheesh, some people! Absolutely no manners. Doesn't anyone know how to knock?

In any case, looks like I'll be raising the security level up a notch. I don't think that's the last I'll see of that slippery canine...

malicia_m @ 2008-12-17T02:01:00

2008-12-17T07:01:46Z

SEE, Morg! Darkwing dreams about having sex with me! This random Internet quiz said so!

A job well done

2008-12-17T01:06:39Z

It looks like there's a new crook in town... Duckburg's very own Gizmoduck! First he burns down the cookie factory and art store, and then he robs a Hamburger Hippo stand. How low will this guy sink?

Oh Gizmodear, if you ever want to join forces and take down the city... give me a call. ♥ Welcome to the evil club, honey.

One of those nights

2008-12-16T00:54:14Z

Sigh. My bed has been feeling awfully... empty lately. Perhaps I should get out my good pair of heels and little black dress; and bag myself a playmate. Too bad this city is experiencing a severe drought in attractive males.

M of Mayhem

2008-12-14T23:07:20Z

The Mistresses of Mayhem is getting off to a good start. The candidates I've chosen look... promising. A few nutcases involved, but all the more easier to control as far as I'm concerned.

Oh didn't I mention? I've put together my own little team of villains, with me as the leader of course. This city could use a few more villainous legions. So far the candidates are:

Splatter Phoenix - An insane art-obsessed chick with an unusual paint brush that bends the fabric of reality. She has good knowledge of the underbelly of St. Canard and that brush will come in handy. Plus I can pay her in paintings.

Camille Chameleon - A shape-shifter... very useful to have on my side. From my understanding she spliced her DNA with a reptile, which would explain the weird lisp.

Isis Vanderchill - I never thought I'd see the day when fire and ice could mix, but her powers will prove useful. She has some financial influence in the city from owning the Vanderchill Ice Factory.

Some tranny chick - I forget her name, but she sounds like a man. I'm not sure if that's because she IS a man but whatever. She's proven to be a good ally.

Now if I can just get them to stop squabbling amongst one another... things'll be grand.

malicia_m @ 2008-12-14T11:44:00

2008-12-14T16:44:00Z

Hah! Well Bushroot is naked pretty much all the time. Randy Gandy, why doesn't it surprise me you'd be the first to flash your knockers?

malicia_m @ 2008-10-19T19:20:00

2008-10-19T23:20:13Z

I am so horny right now.

........I think I accidentally drank those unused aphrodisiacs. Curses, foiled again.

Now excuse me while I go hunt myself down a man for the night. Purrr~

Malicia ~~>

Hmph...

2008-10-15T01:40:00Z

So my whole poison-the-city's-water-supply-with-aphrodisiacs plot went down the drain (literally) for two reasons:

Reason the First: Everyone in this goddamned city drinks bottled water. WHAT THE HELL! How do they afford this?! I even saw a bum drinking from a plastic bottle!

Reason the Second: Bud Flood got all up in my face and was like "Survey says... you're a plot-stealing WHORE!" Sheesh. What. an. Asshole. I can't stand that guy. I mean not only does he talk in annoying commercial diatribe all the time but he's made of bloody water. I may enjoy my daily bath, but being around someone like that just ruffles my feathers the wrong way. Fire and water don't mix, you know?

And since when was the last time The Liquidator enacted an evil scheme?! He's too busy kissing a certain Public Enemy Number One's feathered ass to do anything on his own!

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Any suggestions from my adoring fans and what evil plot I should cook up next?

Ho hum...

2008-10-12T22:17:56Z

Goodness, it's been awhile since I've written in this old thing... possibly because I misplaced it. I'll admit I can be a little scatterbrained at times ♥ I found it inside Pringles' lower intestine, isn't that just hilarious? The poor dear will eat just about anything! Good thing it's so durable, though albeit... sticky. That naughty puppy needs to stop eating mommy's personal items. Perhaps I should stick to Internet blogging from now on...

Today was my spa day. I had my claws buffed and polished and then received a very relaxing deep-tissue massage. Then they applied a special wax polish that gave my feathers a lovely healthy shine. I think everyone ought to take a day off and go to their nearest spa!

Oh well... back to the grind tomorrow. What do you suppose would happen if strong chemical Aphrodisiacs were to leak into the city's water supply? We're going to find out. ♥

xoxoxoxo
Mal~~>